


Meant to be together

by NastyaY



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Chain of thoughts, Down the path towards happiness, Episode: s01e12 Malec - Wedding Scene, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Malec season 1, that kiss tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NastyaY/pseuds/NastyaY
Summary: Magnus Bane is quite magical or how Alec made his choice at the altar





	Meant to be together

      All his life Alec Lightwood had been a soldier. A fearless warrior, a dauntless Nephilim, a brazen Shadowhunter. Always at war: against the demons, the unrequited love, the demanding society. Always at war — never at peace. Following orders, making hard calls, choosing everyone else above himself — that was the way the things had always been. Not once questioning the values or beliefs of the Clave, not daring even to dream of having something for himself, not complaining. Dutiful, loyal, unwavering soldier who trusted the system. Then the system had a glitch. A flamboyant, vivid, daredevil glitch called Magnus Bane. The High Warlock of Brooklyn. The explosive device thrown right at Nephilim’s heart. The one and only Downworlder who mercilessly captured his soul. And became his absolution. A one-man army the conquered Alec’s mind at first sight.

  
      “I’m Magnus. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.” — like an arrow piercing his heart and retrieving a genuine smile. For the first time he just stood there, in the middle of the battle, totally at a loss. Not knowing what to say (hell, he even forgot coherent speech), not wanting to leave this mysterious and handsome stranger, not willing to break the eye contact. For the first time he was simply Alec Lightwood, a shy inexperienced guy who has never been so mesmerized by anyone, let alone a man. A moment of weakness — and he was back to his usual self, ready to fight the enemy. Little did he know that from that moment on his greatest enemy was himself. Though he reckoned he was only trying to withstand the love siege from one devilishly stubborn cat-eyed warlock. A compliment here and there (his “pretty boy “ was still sometimes ringing in Alec’s ears), a touch of fingers and a strong grip of hand (he could swear he felt as if he was electrocuted the second Magnus brushed his fingers against his own), a quiet whisper for aid ( Alec couldn’t’ help but slip “Take what you need”, not being sure if he even meant his strength or his body and soul) — Magnus never left him alone, constantly wandering through his thoughts and dreams. Since Alec successfully pretended he couldn’t care less about a certain warlock in the daytime (or at least he hoped), Magnus had captured his subconscious and came to his dreams every time Alec had a bit of energy left in him to even have those. With the dreams becoming more vivid and revealing, the young Nephilim’s guard was slowly going down, much to his dismay and fear. He couldn’t forget the feeling of Magnus pressed against his body as the exhaustion took over him after saving Luke (true worry even made him ask if he was all right), couldn’t suppress a smile having heard Magnus confess his affection for Alec and didn’t even bother to refuse the toast “To us”. However disappointed and ashamed he might have felt next morning, having realized that he spent a night in the loft, deep down he was more than happy to have one more drink and stay. He even blurted out that he trusted Magnus. Because he did. In fact, it was this charming warlock that unlocked something in Alec, not the other way round. And he was not ready to face it. So he did the best thing he was trained for — he fought. He fought the urge to call Magnus and hear his hoarse voice (yet gladly accepting an offer to have a drink), he fought the strongest desire to see him (yet being the most often guest at warlock’s loft time after time), he fought the impulse to express his sincerest wishes and craves (yet bearing his soul about the problems he had to solve). Still, the image of Magnus refused to leave his head, occasionally making Alec say things he never admitted even to himself. Of course, the warlock was indeed magical, but Lydia definitely did not need to hear that from him, especially with that dreamy look on his face he surely had while talking about him. Sometimes he wondered if Magnus cast some sort of spell on him or was it just his charming personality that quickly made its way right through his heart. Whatever the reasons, Magnus Bane was that someone special whom Alec never even in his wildest dreams hoped to find, someone who made him like his full name (because every time he pronounced Alexander Nephilim’s skin tingled and he held his breath for a millisecond as he savored that unique melody coming out of those sensitive lips), someone who became his anchor in the whirlwind of life around. But being a Shadowhunter imposed certain responsibilities, and Alec truly believed that staying as strong as a mountain was one of them. And mountains didn’t need any anchors, they were not weak or vulnerable. And with Magnus around Nephilim felt like his mountain was slowly but surely crumbling, getting warmer and softer, giving in. There was only one thing he could do to prevent it, one last resort to save him, one ace up his sleeve he still had — Alec Lightwood was to propose to Lydia. She was a perfect candidate — cool-headed, sensible, reserved, just what he needed to finally clear his head and the family name he had to protect. Getting the job done was easy, in fact now he found everything that did not involve any feelings whatsoever to be simple and easy. What on earth made him foolishly think telling Magnus would be the same? The second the truth left his mouth, a young Nephilim regretted ever getting to know this wonderful man. So much hurt and pain was glimmering in those beautiful eyes that the feeling of guilt instantly settled in his stomach.

  
      “Goodbye, Alexander” — like parting shot, straight through his veins. This was it, he thought, the last chance to see any sign of affection in those hazel eyes. And it was all his fault. He deserved it, right, that was what he wanted, wasn’t it? So what if he was somehow channeling all kinds of hurt Magnus was bound to be feeling at that moment, so what if the ache in his heart never stopped, so what if he knew he was making the worst mistake in his life? He’d be damned to admit it or change anything. After all, it was for the best for everyone, except for, apparently, himself and Magnus. He’d have to take it on a chin and get the job done. That was what he excelled at.  
<tab>After everything he had done, Alec was sure of one thing: there would be no more intimacy between the two of them, no more heartfelt conversations, no more longing looks. Just professional interactions, nothing more meaningful. Yet time and again Magnus Bane defied any expectations. When Alec came to his place asking for help (if the matter didn’t concern his beloved sister, he wouldn’t dare come), the high warlock of Brooklyn dashed him with quite a straightforward approach (“Name it” — “You” — like a bullet through his chest). If only Magnus knew how compelling and tempting that offer was. He refused, again. As if to punish a bald Nephilim, Magnus asked for his bow and quiver instead. By the Angel, how little those things meant to him now, when he wasn’t quite his own anymore. If only it were that easy to let go of his love. It seemed that Magnus would never let their love go, here and there telling him off, trying to reach his closed off heart, not giving up. — “Neither of you deserve it and I don’t either” — making him question everything, not even taking his well-deserved price (Alec was certain he would never shoot an arrow again without thinking of him), being his usual self, always close to him. He was fighting for them — Alec refused to take the tiniest step in his direction. Even right before the wedding, when this gorgeous man was standing a hair’s breadth away from him expressing his feelings so eloquently and passionately (he was right, of course, Alec was truly breathless every single time Magnus entered a room), then playing his final trump (“I know you feel what I feel”), Alec couldn’t throw the caution to the wind. So he threw the cruelest words he could possibly conjure at the moment at Magnus instead. Though the thing he desired most upon hearing all those confessions was to press his body against Magnus’ and kiss him senseless.  
***  
     Alec had a feeling that the whole Institute came to witness the ceremony of his enslavement, the demise of forbidden dreams and hopes, the final nail in the coffin of his happiness. The hall full of complete strangers and the people closest to him, pride written on parents’ faces, looks of worry and sadness coming from Jace and Izzy — and weird indifferent emptiness inside of him. If he was doing the right thing, why didn’t he feel like it? Why was he desperately searching through the crowd looking for one face that wasn’t even supposed to be there? Why was this imaginary battle of his far from being over? And when the door into the church burst open and magnificent Magnus Bane came crashing the matrimony Alec knew the answer to all these questions. After all, it was standing right in front of him, staring, waiting, hoping. Not saying a word (except telling Maryse that he would leave if Alec asked him to). This time it was Lightwood’s turn to do something, to show his feelings, to prove once and for all that the arrival of Magnus just in time before the rune making was the best thing that could possibly happen. And Alec should have trusted his gut all the time, as now it was telling him that coming down the aisle, grabbing the lapels of Magnus’ jacket and melting into the fiercest yet sweetest kiss was the one and only thing he was destined for. After all, all his life Alec Lightwood had been at war, but only once did he surrender so perfectly willingly, happily and inevitably. Because the second he laid his eyes on his beloved Magnus he knew that they were meant to be together.  
  



End file.
